Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
