Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Pants are for mortals
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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