The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
