dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
