it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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