Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I did not marry a roomba.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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