i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
