So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
