i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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