Got a toothbrush?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
