Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
