I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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