My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
