I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
