Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i think im in europe. pls send help
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
