Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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