I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
