There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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