nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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