yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
