I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
