doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
