No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
