another moral hangover. fuck.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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