who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
