Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
