I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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