I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
