after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
my poor anus
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
