Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
