they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it's like iHOP with fire
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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