Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
