He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
