How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
