remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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