sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
