he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
