Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
