Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
