I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
