You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
