dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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