Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
