I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
