you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
