He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
