How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
