So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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