either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
