thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
