Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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