wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
