There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
