I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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